Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Brotherly Love


What causes us to remember the first time we have done something? What makes the experience stick in our minds?  I can remember most of my first experiences well. There was my first kiss. I was too young to know what passion or the warmth of another person would feel like. It was quick, as if I had stolen something I would need to return. I believe it is the memory of my first cigarette and alcoholic beverage that has had a profound effect on my life. 

            I was eleven years old when my brother gave me my first cigarette. He was three years older than I was, and it was cool to smoke. I looked at him with admiration. He was going to teach me how to smoke. I would be like him and his friends. He gave me his lighter and told me, "Put the cigarette in your mouth. When you light it, take a deep breath."

            I can remember thinking, "This is going to be easy. Why didn‘t I try it sooner?" I put the cigarette in my mouth and flicked the top of the Zippo lighter. It produced a small spark. I flicked it again and had a flame. I put the lighter against the end of the cigarette and inhaled. It was as if someone had stolen my lungs from my body. I could not breathe, my throat was burning. My brother grabbed the cigarette out of my hand, and was yelling at me to breathe. I was trying to breathe when I vomited all over the deck. I felt the warmth of my tears streaming down my face. I went into the house. It took me only a few seconds to find my inhaler. I took a puff; however, it did not relieve the pain in my chest. The burning was still there. I spent the rest of the day vomiting and sleeping. I learned a valuable lesson- Asthma and cigarettes do not mix.

            I was my brother's chaperone when I was younger, and I was inducted into a game where we drank shots of hard liquor and repeated ridiculous phrases. The first person would say, "Do you want to buy a duck?" as he pointed at another person. They were to respond, without making any mistakes.

            "A what?"

            "A duck."

            "Does it quack?"

            "Of course, it quacks." Now remember, there could be no mistakes or you would have to do a shot. There was no logic to the game, but it was fun to watch. Somehow, I was picked to fill an empty seat. I sat down confident that I was not going to make any mistakes. I remembered how the first shot burned, but after a few more it no longer burned. I was laughing, and having a great time. My brother tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to the car. It was time to leave, and as I stood up, my legs turned into noodles. The ground began to dance as if I were on the ocean. I did not like the overwhelming feeling of being on the sea, so I sat back down.

            The next thing I remember is being home. It was nice being carried up to my room. I was tired and knew the warmth of my bed would be comforting. However, when my brother gently laid me down, I did not feel comforted. I could hear the water sloshing around, and the waves were moving the bed. I opened my eyes, and the room was spinning.

            The sun was shining though my window. Rather than make me smile, I cringed. I had an awful headache. As I proceeded to get up, I noticed what appeared to be a mixture of a liquid and chunks of unprocessed food. I went to find my mother. I was expecting to receive a warm hug and some nurturing, but I received the opposite. "I hope you learned your lesson, and tell your brother he is grounded." I was waiting for her to tell me I was grounded too, but, she looked at me and said, "I hope this teaches you something."

            I learned many valuable lessons hanging out with my brother. He taught me that smoking and asthma don't mix, and to drink in moderation.  

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